The world's first (and, frankly, only) carbonated cheddar soda. Sharp, fizzy, and deeply upsetting in the best way. You'll have questions. We have a can.
It is carbonated cheddar soda. We've read that sentence too. It's still true.
Sharp aged cheddar, dissolved into a bright orange fizzy beverage, sealed in a can, and sold to people who like to make their friends uncomfortable. That's the whole idea. We will not be elaborating further.
Yes, it bubbles. Yes, it's cheese. No, we don't fully understand it either.
We took this very seriously. We probably shouldn't have.
Opens with sharp cheddar, a hint of "are you sure," and the unmistakable aroma of a dare.
Bright carbonation up front, savory cheese mid-sip, and a creamy fizz that arrives uninvited.
Long. Confusing. Lingers like a decision you're not sure you'd make again. (You would.)
We started with Cheddar because we are not cowards. The rest of the lineup is "under development," which is a generous way of saying we're still recovering.
There is no wrong way. There may be no right way.
Surprisingly refreshing. Emphasis on surprising.
For when you want to seem fancy and unwell.
A cheese plate, but make it beverage.
Also valid. We respect it.
"I hated it. I bought twelve more. I don't have answers for you."
"Tastes exactly like you think. That's both the warning and the appeal."
"Brought it to a party. Am no longer invited to parties. Worth it."
We handed a can to an unkillable cybernetic war machine. One sip. One choke. One very expensive android face-down on the floor. Fizzy Cheese: more effective than the entire human resistance.
★☆☆☆☆ "…why." — Unit 0xC4, from the floor
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